VANITY

I have discovered that waking at 5:30 is a permanent byproduct of sobriety—not the fluke I imagined it to be. I've also discovered that I thoroughly enjoy this time.

I've joined a really nice gym, and am eating better food more regularly. I've dropped 10 pounds in 30 days and most of that I'm sure is due to the deficit of the nightly 1000+ calories I was guzzling.

I've been to the doctor for a physical (all's well—amazing), had my teeth cleaned, and am preparing to have $1500 worth of cosmetic dentistry done on the 28th.

Remaining sober has been easy. There has been no struggle, no fight to abstain.

Deciding to severe my destructive relationship with alcohol is a choice I've embraced. It doesn't involve sacrifice and I don't feel like I'm missing anything.

I think my age may have a lot to do with the lack of conflict. Kim Basinger was 40 when she made "9 1/2 Weeks" with Mickey Rourke. I remember thinking how stunning she was in that film, and I hoped to be as fit at 40.

There's nothing more pathetic than a mature adult female drunk off her ass in some bar.

I don't want to ever be that—again.

Vanity, Thy Name is Lee.