I CAN, I HAVE, AND I WILL

I RIDE. I bought my first bike in 1992.

I MISS IT because my bike has been Out Of Order for the past 2.5 riding seasons.

I haven't indulged in Adventuring -- the experience of Going Some Place HERETOFORE UNEXPLORED Alone -- in too long, and it's Time.

For 5 years, the time I spent with Master Carpenter, we never went anywhere! I couldn't get that man up off his Property.

But that's all finished. I'm buying a new bike. (My original bike is ancient) It's Time.

A Mother Goose Rhyme/synopsis of my past 5 years

"Peter, Peter
Pumpkin Eater

Had a Wife
But couldn't keep 'er

So he put her in a Pumpkin Shell

And There he kept her very well."

****

And then, she Woke Up and Said,

WHERE'S MY EFFING MOTORCYCLE! AND ALL OF MY TECHNOLOGY!

We're Going to Have An Adventure, AGAIN!

It Is Done, we're making plans.

Finally!

***

By the way,

I never drink and ride. That's The Rule.

I bought my own bike after I was involved in two major bike accidents as a passenger; Both of which I walked away from, but in all probability shouldn't have.

I decided I prefer to be in control, and In 16 years I've never laid the bike down.

Peace-Out,

Lee

A FAIRY TALE

Once upon a time a Faire Maiden ("Maiden" may be stretching it a wee bit but this is *my* fairy tale) fell deeply in love with a hermetic loner who made his living as a Carpenter. And what fine craftsmanship was the result of his talented labors!

She was dazzled and in awe of his skill, and dreamt of a fine home they would some day build together.

Yon Faire Maiden discovered that The Carpenter was disturbed by her tendency to engage Total Strangers in conversation, and also by her desire to explore hitherto unexplored regions of the kingdom.

Nonetheless, since our Faire Maiden had heretofore led a free and unencumbered life, and because she was In Love, she believed that a bit of sacrifice for Her Beloved's emotional comfort was a small thing she could do, so she reigned in her natural tendencies and set about the business of Building A Lasting Relationship.

As time went on, our Faire Maiden also discovered that The Carpenter was disturbed when she would relate stories about her work in the kingdom. The Carpenter was hostile and suspicious of her most innocent (and necessary) interaction with any man. He began reading her email and checking her cell phone. He would question her about the most insignificant events or items ----- "Where did this fork come from?" (Her Mother) "Where did this pin come from?" (Her young co-worker) "Whose socks are these?" (Hers)

This went on for A Very Long Time. Our Faire Maiden began to speak less and less about her life to him, and her world became narrow and isolated. The less she communicated, the more critical he became. He accused her of infidelity, he accused her of lying to him, of betraying him. She vehemently protested her innocence.

And then, due to her faithful efforts in her work, she received a special invitation to attend the Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. For Three! Whole! Weeks!

And so, she went.

And while she was there, she was surrounded and embraced by extraordinary people, with creative and intellectual gifts and talents that confirmed and nurtured her own.

And by the time she returned, she was herself again, and hasn't thought of The Carpenter as more than a past memory.

The End

AFTER HOGWARTS

*WHEW*

So, I've returned from Hogwarts, and lemme tell ya ... it was a deeply magikal experience.

I didn't get to meet Dumbledore, sad to say, but I dined in The Great Dining Hall and was able to meander around the hallways and corridors a bit.

My most prized possession is my badge that opens the locked gates and allows me access, but mostly I'm glad to know, once and for all, that there are people stranger than I and they roam the Hogwarts Campus.

I'd tell you more, but you know ... it's a secret.

SOBRIETY 2.0

I'm upgrading.

Version 1 must've been just out of Beta, because I found some bugs.

BE CAREFUL WHAT YE ASK FOR

I asked for this job. Desired it—deeply and purely—and I got it.

I'm a natural teacher. I'm patient. I'm flexible. I'm intellectually curious. I have large numbers of experience with technology, and most people thoroughly enjoy working with me, and I the same.

But we don't always hit home runs every time up to bat.

And sometimes, we totally strike out.

And SOMETIMES THEY'RE JUST EFFING LUNATICS.

I'm sorry, was I shouting?